Gimpy Mumpy

The BUZZ

It's official, Gimpy Mumpy and some of my favorite crip blogging buds have reached blogging superstardum. 

Ragged Edge  online disability magazine is running a piece this week Bloggers 'R' Us about the quality of crip blogs.  As Ragged Edge puts it "Some of the best disability commentary around is coming from blogs." Ragged Edge has included Gimpy Mumpy , Diary of a Goldfish  and Ghetto River Nymph under their reader suggested blogs. 

Some of my other favorite blogs are also featured.  Blogroll please!  The Gimp Parade, Crippled Monkey, Fangworld and much, much more.

 

All Your Gimps....

TENS Cozy

Newsflash!  I've been thinking about my earlier post Accessorizing and the great comments by readers and have begun developing a TENS cozy protype.  This is in the early stages but as soon as I have a finished product I will post pictures and a link to where you can order your own. 
I have plans to begin with some ultra-cute TENS fashion covers in hot pink velvet, faux fur and more.  TENS cozies will help protect these expensive little devices (I have a bad habit of dropping mine) and can either cover your unit up so that it blends with your ensemble or make it stand out as a great fashion accessory....you decide!
I also have plans to add velvet wheelchair armrests and more.  More details to come.

Crip Stink?

I was at the grocery store this morning and had the unpleasant experience of limping into the circle of stench surrounding a very smelly and very sleazy man.  He kept looking me up and down and ogling my walking-stick (canes must turn him on).  I gave up my mission for fresh veggies and headed back to my friend was helping me shop.  When I warned her about the smiling man-with-a-stench she said the strangest thing...."Oh he's probably just a bit retarded."  Hmmm.....since when did disabilities equal bad hygiene?  It wasn't meant maliciously, in fact it was said in a way to excuse his odor and behavior.
Now I had heard of old-people-smell, but crip stink?  After reassuring myself that I did not have any offensive odor we resumed shopping.  The whole conversation slipped my mind until we pulled into my garage and were faced with the foreboding smell and size of the Almighty Trash Monster.
Remember "Trash Heap" from Fraggle Rock?  Imagine that combined with 4 or 5 Jabba the Huts and you'll have some idea of what resides in my garage.  Pretty gross and very smelly. 
Hmmm.....well I don't stink (in fact I probably shower more than anyone else on the planet because it's the only thing that helps my muscles relax) but my cleanliness standards for my home have dropped a notch or two since my injuries.  I mean it's not my fault exactly since I can't carry the trash bags out.  Oh no, I don't want visitors to think I have crip stink!  The next person to visit is going to have the unpleasant job of carrying those bags out for me.  I wonder if anyone I know has a forklift?

Do I have what?!

I finally had my long awaited appointment with the new spine surgeon yesterday.  Mr. No-Personality didn't answer any questions, however he did have more thorough x-rays done than my regular surgeon and has ordered a CT scan of my lower back.  Two brownie points for Mr. No-Personality. 
During this appointment a very strange thing happened.  Mr. No-Personality actually broke from his perpetual monotone and became very excited.  A breakthrough?  Some overlooked aspect of my spine?  Not exactly.  He was excited about my large, brown birthmark on my knee.  (I just don't get some people.)  He asked if I had more.  "Uh, yah.  Why?"  Again no answer (I think it's their office policy or something.) "Do you have freckles under your arms?" he asked next (still excited).  "Uh, yah.  Why?"  You guessed it, no answer.  Next he lifts my arm, and no joke, sticks his excited face in my armpit. (The word Nutjob crossed my mind.)  He then ordered x-rays.  After waiting over an hour for him to come back from reviewing the x-rays he came in stared at us, said he didn't no why I was doing so badly this long after my fusion, and ordered a CT scan. 
On the way home as you can imagine the topic turned quickly to "what the heck was he doing in your armpit?" (giggle) "what was up with the freckles?".  So of course I couldn't wait to get home and Google 'brown birthmarks freckles armpit'.  Surprisingly there is in fact a condition that matches this.  Neurofibromatosis is a genetic disorder where the person exhibits at least two of the following symptoms; brown "cafe-au-lait" spots, freckles in strange places such as in the armpit or groin, neurofibromas, optic glioma, Lisch nodules, and displasia.  People with neurofibromatosis develop tumors on the covering of nerves.  Could I have this?  I wish that Mr. No-Personality had actually talked to me about this.  Perhaps he is waiting to see if any of these tumors show up on the CT scan.  Grrrrr.....

For more info on Neurofibromatosis check out Gillian Anderson's website (yah, X-File star Gillian Anderson) where she has gathered information, links and an opportunity to support more research through her CafePress Alien Collection.

Organ Donation Week

This week is National Organ and Tissue Donation week.  I found it frighteningly appropriate that UPN ran the "Dale Be Not Proud" episode of King of the Hill yesterday.  If you haven't seen it, this episode involves Dale Gribble, paranoid conspiracy theorist, discovering that his kidney is a perfect match for racecar driver John Force.  Dale, after a multitude of stipulations, agrees to go under the knife and as you can imagine things don't go as planned in the hospital.  (Do they ever??)
For more information on National Organ and Tissue Donation week check out this website.

Accessorizing

We gimps need some cool accessories for our crip devices.  We need some almighty retailer to solve the question, 'where do I clip this damn TENS unit?'.
Instead of this

    

Why can't we have this?

 

 

 

 

Or, instead of this

                                                                

why can't we have this?

It's not the size that counts....or is it?

Why is it that a Digital Voice Recorder with MP3 player can be the size of my thumb and weigh nothing yet our TENS units that we have to wear EVERY DAY are still huge, heavy and cumbersome?  Why?

Board of Medicine

License to ill

After the gross misconduct, unprofessional behavior, fraudulent medical records and fraudulent billing from a urologist that I had dealings with a year ago I felt compelled at the time to complain.   
Yes I was angry and wanted this guy to fry, but in fact my major motivation for complaining was to prevent this sort of thing happening to other patients.   Dealing with this man was traumatic, both for myself and my family, so immediately we complained to hospital staff.   Once home I complained in writing on the hospital survey form using the doctor's full name and listed witnesses to events.  Although the survey had the 'anonymous' option I signed it as well as my family.  Nothing happened.  I called the hospital and asked to make a formal complaint.  I was called back by a saccharine sweet woman with no medical training who evidently was supposed to smooth things over with her carefully practiced laugh and modulated 'calming' voice.  Damage control.  That was all the hospital cared about. 
For awhile I gave up.  Then 6 months later THE BILL arrived.  This was not part of the hospital billing.  THE BILL was an inflated piece of fictitious garbage that came directly from that doctor's office.   Now there are all kinds of insurance related problems that this has caused (not preauthorized, not a participating provider, etc, etc,) but I won't bore you with all of that.  The problem was that this arrogant son-of-a-female-dog was trying to bill for services that he never rendered.  After talking to a very nice lady on the phone in his billing office it became clear that he does this all the time.  Needless to say I was becoming madder by the millisecond. 
I decided that the easiest thing to do would be to get copies of the medical records from the hospital and his office and show once and for all that he couldn't possibly be billing for something that he never did. Skip forward months later after countless phone calls, faxes, and letters to when medical records finally arrive.  I read the records.  I read them again.  WHAT?!  Oh yah, I was beyond mad now.  I had transformed into the Demon Patient From The Eighth Plane of Hell (deep booming voice).  I found the State Board of Medicine complaint forms and hit print.  (O.K. not quite a deathray, but it's a laser right??).  I compiled my evidence, sited witnesses, gathered signatures demonstrating unprofessional and potentially harmfull behavior, fraudulent medical records and fraudulent billing.
I have just received a reply from the Board of Medicine.  (drum roll please).  "(T)he Board of Medicine has determined that the allegations cited in your letter do not establish that the licensee has engaged in any type of professional misconduct for which the Board may impose disciplinary action.....For this reason, the Board believes that no further action is appropriate on your complaint."  In other words?  Get lost, we protect our own.  Grrrrrrr......