What do you call it?

Some months ago my Physical Terrorist (Therapist) sent me on the look out for a "hemorrhoid donut" to see if it would help me be able to sit comfortably.  I probably could have gone to the medical supply store but since they charge an arm and a leg for everything I decided to find a cheap one elsewhere. 
But what to call it?  Since I don't have hemis I decided I like the ring of "Ass Donut".  So I decided to try the local pharmacy and department stores.  But how to ask for an Ass Donut?  "Hi, I'd like an Ass Donut and a side of fries?"
Tip:  Do not Google hemorrhoid donut, ass donut, etc. 

Well I ended up finding one eventually in a very tiny box that did not say what it was but did have a picture of an ass donut on the package.  You mean I have to blow this thing up?  They had to be kidding.  I didn't want to put my lips on an ass donut.  I can see the headlines now "Crip passes out from blowing ass donut."  Brilliant.

Comments

[Eliza]

Dang, and there I was, singing it to the tune of, "Me and My Llama." (From Sesame Street or The Electric Company or one of those other defining PBS shows of my childhood. Few people remember this one, but it's awesome, because the writer had to have been on some serious mind-altering substances. "Me and my llama, dressed up in our pajamas, going to the dentist today, yup it's just my llama and me."). But, that wasn't what you were singing. So, nevermind.