Gimpy Mumpy

Dalek & Borg

Forget Alien vs. Terminator or Spy vs. Spy and head on over to Dalek and Borg.

Rub a dub dub....

....there's slime in my tub.
I want to take a bath. 
I can't remember the last time I was able to clean my bathtub.  I can't remember the last time that I suckered someone else into cleaning my bathtub for me.
I want to take a bath. 
Is that a lilypad? Moss?  Forget it, I'm going to bed instead.

Robo Guinea Pig

Tired of being your doctor's guinea pig?  Perhaps you should go to your next visit armed with Gupi, your very own robotic guinea pig.
Beware though!  Gupi is similar to Needies and require lots of attention.

Understatement of the Week

In reference to the insanely long wait times for social security disability determinations:
"Everybody recognizes that there's a need for change and we need to improve the process."--Jo Anne Barnhart, Social Security Commissioner

Soap-on-a-Rope

I propose that it is time for Soap-on-a-rope to graduate.
Soap on a rope is a great idea and all, especially for those of us that can't pick items up once they fall in the shower.
The problem is that standard old S.O.A.R. is not only boring it brings forth images of naked, lathered up elderly raisins.  Currently our only alternative appears to be a few naughty novelty S.O.A.R.s.  While having a penis shaped soap hanging in the shower may seem fun for some, it's just not something I want in there when the family comes to dinner. 
Wouldn't it be much more fun to have crip themed S.O.A.R.s?  A lovely carving of my doctor swinging from a rope would bring a smile to my face. 

Quote Of The Week

"It is a dilema though, working out what you can't do because you can't do it and what you don't do because you can't be arsed.  When it comes to pain I think we all develop a meter;  if it notches up more than five pain-points I can consider it a 'can't do'."          -The Goldfish, posted over at Fangworld

Better than a Magic Eightball

Have some tough medical questions that needs answers?  Can't wait for your next doctor's appointment?  Well then try a doctor bobblehead doll! 
I found Doc Bobblehead's answers just as clear as my own doctors.  See for yourself.

Hey Doc, Do I need more surgery?

*yes, no.......wobbly, wobbly

Will this medication help me?

*yes, no.........wobbly, wobbly

Name that brew

With one emergency situation after another Mr. M needs a relaxing hobby.  He is going to begin brewing his own beer this weekend.  We have been thinking up some Gimpy Mumpy names for beers to gift to friends.  Here are a few:

Gimpy Mumpy Short & Stout
Looking a bit Pale Ale
Feeling Daft Draught

Any name ideas?

Man deliberately hacks rival medical answering service

This story is a perfect illustration of the inherent problems with a healthcare system based upon capitalism.

Japanese turn to robots for future crip care

With a rapidly aging population and strict immigration laws Japan is turning to robots as future carers for the disabled and the elderly.
One project currently in development is intriguing.  HAL-5 (Hybrid Assistive Limb) is a robotic suit designed to assist with strength and mobility.  HAL-5 may become available to the public later this year. 
Although I admit to a certain degree of skepticism and fear of robot carers the HAL-5 suit is truly exciting.  With the potential for individualized computer programming the possibilities seem virtually endless.  I will pass on the robotic carer (exterminate, exterminate....I mean uh, hear are your pills mam), but would love a chance to try out HAL-5. 
Hmmm.....I wonder how comfortable HAL is to wear?