What Happened To You??!

O.K. I realize that this question comes with the crip territory.  I don't have to like it but I have come to expect it.  In fact I've had a bit of fun, at the inquirers expense, with my responses.
What I wasn't prepared for was getting this question over and over recently for something other than my crip condition.  I would go out of the house and complete strangers would run up going What happened to you?!  Or my favorite, 'How in the hell did you manage to do that to yourself?'  I have to admit that since I would immediately assume that they were referring to my cripdom my comebacks were often more rude than called for.  What they were actually referring to was a very nasty bruise I managed to acquire without knowing it. 
Now falling, stumbling and consequent bruising is a common crip hazard for us mobility impaired folks.  This does sometimes put us in akward situations with healthcare workers; "he did what to you? I mean you did what to yourself?!"  Trying to convince an overzealous nurse that no it's not crip abuse I really am a dumbass clutz is a bit of a pain.  But like I said this comes with the territory.  I just wasn't prepared for the combination of summer fashions and my most recent nasty bruise.

Comments

[gimpy mumpy]

hehehe......o.k.

1) Couldn't pay my doctor's bill last month. (jeez, when they say they break legs, man they weren't kiddin'

2) Was running from the dude with the ugly stick, but I shouldn't have bothered, looks like he was comin' after you instead.

3) Was so shocked when I saw your mama workin' the street corner I fell right off the curb. Nasty incident, just nasty.

....these are mean and don't really advise using them, but sometimes I just can't help myself!

[Lbarbs]

That is a Really nasty bruise :(.

Please enlighten me on your rude comebacks to "how did you get like that?", as mine are rather feeble.