Gimpy Mumpy

South Park Mumpy

Needed a bit of cheering up so had some fun over at Planearium's South Park Studio. 

Now we know what Mumpy would look like if she had a guest appearance on South Park!

C.M.A.S. Alert: Code Red

C.M.A.S. the Crip Mood Advisory System was put in place some time ago by Gimpy Mumpy as a color coded sytem for gauging the mood of your fellow crip.  Never did she think that her anger would go beyond the C.M.A.S. scale.  Beware she has now reached Code Mega Red. 
Be afraid.  Be very very afraid.
Then:
Have you ever wished you could gauge the mood of your fellow crip on the street?  Ever wished that your crip friend or co-worker had a warning alert meter that was easy to understand?
Problem solved.  Mumpy has developed the C.M.A.S.: Crip Mood Advisory System.  The C.M.A.S. is a color coded system similar to the Homeland Security Advisory System.  This system is easy to use.  Green means go, ask your inane questions see if I care!  Yellow means be prepared to a grimace and possible explitives.  Orange means you are in for a verbal assault and a possible caning, so beware.  Code Red is your tip to run for the hills.

Warning: if code red is reached there is no turning back.  CWD: Crip World Domination has been set into action and all able-bodieds, especially health service employees, should be on the look out for angry crips armed with TENS shock devices, a-frames, motorized chairs and scooters, and pinching reachers.

Now:
 

Hico Nose "Correction"

It is a sad commentary on our obsession with beauty that anyone would wear this contraption. 
KESTA Inc. is marketing the Hico as "Nose Correction" and claim it is "For High Nose & Shapely Nose!"  No really, I'm not making this up. 
They go on to explain that "the first complex most Korean women have is about their noses.  The fundamental cause of Hico's birth is women who try to overcome their nose complex and don't want to get cosmetic surgery." 
Well, I'm glad they aren't going under the knife, but if there really is a "nose complex" then shouldn't we be trying to spread the message that we think these women are beautiful as is?  Oh!  These poor girls in their nose gear.  There must be something we can do!

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition is working on a home in Maine this week.  I am hoping to have a chance to sneak over and take a few pics.  This episode will not actually air until December or January so this will be a great sneak peak for any fans of the show!
The recipient family is fisherman and amputee Doug Goodale and his family.  For Doug's complete story with numerous pictures check out When The Sea Calls by Earl Dotter.  There is also the 1997 Portland Press Herald newpaper account, which is definitely not for readers with a weak stomach.

Shoulder Tendonitis & the Half Drawn Mumpy

Mumpy's Law.  Ugh!  Ouch! Why is it that as soon as I become inspired to create lots of new artwork my shoulder tendonitis decides it would be a lovely time to rear it's ugly head (errr, 'shoulder')?
If you'd like to know how Scientist's Define Murphy's Law, check out this post over at Slashdot.

Caretaker Chics Play Crappy Prank on Co-workers, Now Face Multiple Counts of Criminal Crip Abuse

Lisa Kilburn and Kim Congleton, CNA's at the Irvine Health and Rehabilitation Center, thought it would be funny to give laxatives to multiple elderly and medically fragile patients as a practical joke on staff that worked the following shift. 
The patients in their care were treated like human whoopie cushions.  Their health and emotional wellbeing were jeopardized.  This is absolutely deplorable.  Fortunately Attorney General Gregg Stumbo agrees.  Stumbo told press, "These defendants treated the residents of Irvine Health and Rehab as nothing more than objects for their own amusement as a means to play pranks on fellow staff members.  This conduct is an outrage to human decency and dignity.  I will not allow this callous abuse of our elderly citizens.  This conduct is criminal and will be punished."  Yes Mr. Stumbo, Mumpy could not agree more. 
The defendants are scheduled to appear in court October 6th and face up to five years in prison for each count of abuse.  Mumpy would like to add a prescription for daily laxatives to Kilburn and Congleton's prison stay. 

Trauma Center: Under The Knife

Want to play doctor?  You can with the new Nintendo DS game, "Trauma Center: Under The Knife."

The Nintendo DS touchscreen lends itself nicely to this innovative form of gameplay.  Surgeries are performed with the stylus.  The pressure is on!

Trauma Center releases October, 2005.

Crip Comic

Crip Comic is now available online!  Crip Comic is a webcomic from the mind of the young talented Luke Barbs.  Artwork is currently done by jfsouthpaw, with additional installments by Ben, Beehive "and when all else fails, Mr.T."  Luke is the author of  Crip Geek (formerly known as Militant Crip), Oxwebs Blog and co-author of Llamas & Other Random Oddities.

Luke is also host of the Google Group, Crip World Domination: The Crip Blogger Forum.

Why Shiba Inu's Do Not Make Good Service Dogs

...or, The Story of the Turkey Feather, the Dead Mouse and the Dried Newt.

Toby is now a 5 year old Shiba male.  We rescued Toby from a kill-shelter 4 years ago after finding his adoption listing online at Petfinder.com.  Shiba Inu's are an ancient asian breed that looks like a miniature Akita.  In Japanese 'Shiba' means small and 'Inu' dog.

The Neurosis:
I must admit that this may be due in large part to his lengthy stay in an animal shelter, but my Shiba Inu has a number of neurosis and phobias.  Toby does not like certain loud noises.  This originally meant that he would whine and shake terribly at the smoke-detectors and during thunder storms.  Unfortunately Shiba Inu's are extremely intelligent.  Toby has managed to figure out that the oven, especially when on broil, and the toaster are the most likely culprits for setting off the evil smoke alarms.  Toby now shakes and whines with tail between his legs every time the toaster or oven are on.  So yes, my dog is afraid of the toaster.

The Health Problems, aka. The Puppy Cripness:
Like many purebred animals, the Shiba Inu has some common health problems.  Cataracts are a common eye problem and our Toby suffers from congenital cataracts which are causing him to gradually lose his sight.  So far this has mainly effected his depth perception but will progressively cause blindness.  Our veterinarian wishes to wait to see if he will be a candidate for surgery later in life, however this will be very expensive.  So Toby would not make a very good service animal for the visually impaired since it truly would be a case of the blind leading the blind.

Little Dog, Big Attitude:
The foremost reason that a Shiba Inu would not make a good service animal is their high prey instinct.  They will chase any small animal until catching it or reaching the end of it's leash, whichever happens first.  ('Small animal' also includes leaves, crickets, and yes feathers.)  The Shiba Inu also must always be on a leash.  The resulting situation often being that while walking along with the pup on a leash a leaf/feather/bird/frog/chipmunk moves up ahead and you are pulled and fall flat on your backside.  Once the Shiba posesses his treasure, good luck trying to take it from him.  This occurred yesterday with Toby when he found a discarded turkey feather.  He would run up to be sure you saw he had a turkey feather and then scamper off out of reach.  When we reached the front door with lots of "put it down," "no," and "drop it" we had to struggle to get it out of his mouth and Toby into the house.  He then stood panting with his head against the door for over an hour waiting to be let out to retrieve his treasure. 
Now I realize that a feather sounds harmless and we must seem terrible for taking it away (although it could have had mites on it) but more often than not his 'treasures' consist of drippy rotten mice or dried sun-baked newts. 
Lastly, Shiba Inu's do not bark.  Do not be fooled!  This does not mean that they are quiet.  As the Northeast Shiba Rescue puts it, "can emit a piercing 'Shiba Scream'."  This Shiba Scream has been known to be mistaken for tortured children, and police and rescue officials may be called to your home by concerned neighbors.  Don't say I didn't warn you!
So to conclude, Shiba Inu's do not make good service animals, however they do make wonderful members of the family.

Incupod

Now I do realize that the Incupod is a new product for creating a comforting environment for premature babies that must spend time in an incubator but Mumpy wants one, Mumpy Size.

--The baby Mumpy rests on a heated gel mattress that folds around the baby Mumpy.
--The mattress is made of a pressure distributing material that relieves pressure sores.
--An inflatable ring sits around the baby Mumpy, creating a reassuring boundary for the baby Mumpy to nestle against.

What crip wouldn't want this new piece of Crip Gear?