Gimpy Mumpy

Doctor must know best!

Stumbled upon this cartoon from the 19th century which pokes fun at the ridiculous prescriptions of doctors of the day. 

Too bad that in all this time some things never change.

E.G.A.D.!

Just arrived home from the store after a lengthy run-in with a very angry elderly lady whom I  will refer to as E.G.A.D.  'Evil Granny Against Depends'. 
I was limping my way through the store when a german lady in her 80's came up to me and started ranting about the organic food that I was about to purchase.  She was quick to inform me that it's "just another way to rip people off" and that "organic means people shit in a hole and grow veggies out of it and the extra dollar they screw you for the 'organic' label is for the shit". 
O.k., I have to admit that I was laughing a bit but she really was quite good at ranting and the next bit I really did agree with.  She said that she didn't trust doctors anymore because they are all out to rip you off (cheers to that!) and that the last time she went the doctor charged both her and medicare $109 to clip her toe-nails (too much information, but I had to agree with her). 
I'm not sure if it was my evident crip status or her need to rant but then went on to complain that older people have to 'pee-pee' all the time and that the adult diapers are too expensive so she said, "go get a cheap roll of paper towels and wad it up and put it 'down there' and it's much cheaper and they're not ripping you off for those expensive pads and diapers". I'm not making this stuff up!  She was a hoot and I have to admit she had a point.

To Sleep or Bust!

As a chronic pain suffering crip I am constantly on the look out for gimp gear that could alleviate pain, especially if it will help me catch some Z's.
The Bust Pillow appears to be made from super high density urethane and is 'squishy' like the old ergonomic wrist rests.  The Bust Pillow is designed to reduce breast tenderness for the large breasted female who sleeps face down and with claims like these who can resist?
The Bust Pillow helps reduce "agony of the chest harmony" and "supporting softly, it invites feeling good sleep."  But since I don't fit the target group (ahem) perhaps someone else will give this a try and let us know if it helps.

Holiday Travel Complaints to TSA

This article gives the insights that some travelers have written on customer complaint forms to the TSA (Transportation Security Administration), including my favorites:
"If you have an artificial leg, be prepared for it to be X-rayed separately."
and
"She basically rubbed me down and cupped my breasts like a $2 hooker,"
The lady whose breasts were searched asked the security guards if it was good for them.  What comeback would you suggest for the crip with the artificial leg?

NHS Trust Gives Plastic Surgery Discount to Staff

According to this BBC article, the NHS trust has defended it's job perk of offering discount on plastic surgery to staff. 
Great, just what I need.  My doctor's office is already filled with bimbos now we can attract all of the doctors and nurses that rate wanting a boob job as a high priority.  Yah, I'm just sure this will help spread awareness and acceptance. Yah.

LA Hospitals Dump Homeless on Skid Row

Three LA hospitalshave admitted to sending patients to the downtown skid row area.
There have been accusations that hospitals have prematurely discharged homeless patients and sent them unprepared into the crime ridden area.  According to this article, "Police Capt. Andy Smith said patients don't always reach their destinations, and that he often sees "individuals with not one but sometimes two different hospital bracelets, and people with bandages on, people who are barely ambulatory, and we'll end up calling an ambulance. Sometimes they are in such bad shape they are incoherent."  Obviously better measures must be taken to insure that patients are discharged properly.  Oh wait! this is America, what was I thinking? We have Mr. 'Bah Humbug' for president.  Let's just hope he doesn't watch the film Soylent Green before his term is up.

Email from the FBI? It's a worm.

Many folks have been receiving emails containing the sober worm computer virus.  Some of these emails claim to be from the FBI who has now released an official public warning regarding these emails.  So don't open those emails!  Beware the sober worm.

The Spider Catcher

Having trouble catching spiders with your reacher?  Want to remove a spider from your bath, wall or favorite chair but don't want to harm the little bug-eating arachnoid? 
Then the Spider Catcher may be just the gadget for you. 
I like the idea of being able to remove a spider from my living space without having to ask for help (this way I don't have to admit to being afraid of spiders) and with my close proximity to a pond mosquito breeding area I don't really want to kill the poor little fellas.

Black Friday

After gorging themselves on turkey and pie hordes of Americans will rush to stores this morning for the shopping frenzy of Black Friday.
While I often watch for the 'trampled at Walmart' headlines with a combination of curiosityand horror I wonder how my fellow crips are doing today.  Have any Black Friday shopping stories to share?
Were friends and family eyeing your parking badge with envy and hinting they would like your parking badge you to accompany them today? (check out Mumpy's 'Blue Badge of Christmas')
I will be avoiding the large retailers today and plan to browse the local used book store and do my holiday shopping online.  If you are looking for gift ideas check out the Gear section, the Gimpy Mumpy Store or the CWD Online Store.  If you are planning on doing some shopping at Amazon clicking through the link in the left sidebar helps support GimpyMumpy.com and if looking for books consider supporting a fellow crip blogger and purchasing 'Cancergiggles: Mountains Are Easy' by Cass over at the Cancergiggles blog.
Happy shopping!

gobble, gobble?