Gimpy Mumpy

Swimmer's High?

I've had a few readers inquire after my progress with pool therapy.  The simplest description is that I am laying here feeling as though I've been sucked through a straw, chewed up and spit out. But it feels good.
O.k., before you think Miss Mumpy has gone off the deep end I should clarify.  Before my injury I was a total fitness junkie.  Yoga? Yup.  Spandex? Check.  Weight training?  Oh yah.  The thing I miss most?  Runners high and the all over burn of a good workout.  So when I say pool therapy had a good side this is what I'm referring to. 
I may be exhausted and I may be in pain but next time I face the pool that won't be foremost on my mind.  I'll be thinking of that runner's high that I ended the last session with and hopefully that will keep me going.  Either that or I'll be found cowering in a corner of the locker room.
I think I'd need some Mumpy Mind Tricks though in order to escape the therapy staff.  "This is not the gimp you've been looking for."

Race yah!

The Escargot Kitchen Timer is a cute kitchen gadget that "crawls like a real snail as it counts your cooking time." 
Now this is a product for Miss Mumpy!  With her moto, "The Slower We Go, The More We See" this little snail is the perfect addition to her kitchen. 
Just put this little fella on the counter top and watch us race to the sink!

Memento?

After a massive asthma attack singer Lindsay Lohan has had the word BREATHE tattooed on her wrist as a reminder.  What sorts of things would my fellow crips like to get inked?
If Miss Mumpy were not such a needle-phobe a positive reminder not to fall would be helpful when rushing around.  But where to put the tat?  According to Mumpy's Law if I had "Don't Fall" tattooed on my wrist I would look to see what I was to be reminded of and fall flat on my face.  Hmmmmm......looks like I need a plan B.

Year of the Dog

The Chinese New Year begins January 29th and 2006 is the Year of the Dog. 
What better time to spoil your family pet or service dog? Let your pooch spread the Crip World Domination message with this CWD Dog T-shirt or let everyone know you're a Hip Crip with the Gimpy Mumpy "My Person is a Hip Crip" Dog T-shirt.
      

Out of Tune

Miss Mumpy is intrigued by this bit of gear.  The GypsyMIDI is an exoskeleton worn, not to assist the user in daily tasks like many of the new exoskeleton designs, but to create music.
The users movements are translated into MIDI using the eXo-software creating a real-time stream of music.  I wonder what gimpy music would sound like? 

Just Blowing Hot Air?

The Seattle Times has reported that an advisory panel has voted in favor of recommending that the FDA ban the sale of non-prescription asthma inhalers, such as Primatene Mist.
Their motives seem sketchy with talk of everything from potential harm to the ozone layer to health concerns for patients who access anything without a doctor's prescription.  It would seem the doctors are desperate to keep us in a pincer grip of control where they can only profit and the poor and the uninsured will be left gasping, quite literally, for air.

Extra Body?

Miss Mumpy is down to the last drops of her "extra body" shampoo and the advertised extra body is nowhere to be found.

Stylin'!

One of my readers had a great solution to my swimsuit problem.  Create custom gimpy swimsuits!  I'll pitch the idea to the local surf shops.  Who knows?  Meanwhile here's a sample decorative design.

The Swimsuit, The Gimp & The Nasty Seam

With pool therapy fast approaching I am in a bit of a panic to find a swimsuit.  It doesn't need to be fancy but it does need to be comfortable. 
Unfortunately my comfort needs are not the norm.  Ever since my spine surgery I have a sensitive 10 inch scar along the lower mid-line of my back that extends below the waistline.  The area in and around this scar is always swollen, sore and extremely sensitive to touch or pressure.  This is where my problems with clothing, in this case swimsuits, begin.
Bikini? No way, the waistline cuts right across and into the most sensitive part of my back.  One piece?  Apparently the trend is to put a thickly stitched seam running right up the mid-line of the back of the suit.  Some brands even stitch tags into this section.  Ouch!  Hence my search for a smooth backed one piece suit.  But how to tell if a suit is smooth backed?  Have you ever noticed that catalogues and online retailers never show rear photos of their swimwear?  Grrrrrr......
Update: I went in search of an old swimsuit that I couldn't remember if I still had.  I opened my spare clothes closet which I hadn't looked through recently (it's filled with mostly suits and such that I can't wear now) only to find the walls and clothes covered in black mold.  Now everything has to be pulled out and washed and the walls will need to be scrubbed with bleach.  Not feeling up to dealing with such a smell today I returned to the kitchen where Mr. M was proceeding to catch fire to a potholder.  Now the smell of burning synthetic fabric is all through the house, my clothes closet is dumped into the middle of the floor and I still do not have a swimsuit to wear to therapy tomorrow. *sigh*  I guess I should have titled this entry The Gimp, The Swimsuit, The Moldy Closet & The Kitchen Fire.
When was the last time you had a day like this?

Medical Malpractice May Have Killed Child

Medical malpractice, that a children's hospital allegedly conspired to cover up, now believed to be the cause of a child's death. 
Unfortunately for the boyfriend of the child's mother the court decided it must have been a result of violence against the child.  Kenneth Marsh spent 21 years in prison.  Marsh could have accepted a plea deal but continually asserted his innocence.  He has just received a payment from Victims Compensation for wrongful conviction and plans to take action against the doctors involved in the child's death.