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  • "Gimpy Mumpy: This blog is the "platform for daily rants, dark humor, news updates and discussion" from Mumpy. It also features a number of Mumpy's characterful cartoons." -Crippled Monkey, BBC Ouch. February 9, 2005.

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January 22, 2006

The Swimsuit, The Gimp & The Nasty Seam

With pool therapy fast approaching I am in a bit of a panic to find a swimsuit.  It doesn't need to be fancy but it does need to be comfortable. 
Unfortunately my comfort needs are not the norm.  Ever since my spine surgery I have a sensitive 10 inch scar along the lower mid-line of my back that extends below the waistline.  The area in and around this scar is always swollen, sore and extremely sensitive to touch or pressure.  This is where my problems with clothing, in this case swimsuits, begin.
Bikini? No way, the waistline cuts right across and into the most sensitive part of my back.  One piece?  Apparently the trend is to put a thickly stitched seam running right up the mid-line of the back of the suit.  Some brands even stitch tags into this section.  Ouch!  Hence my search for a smooth backed one piece suit.  But how to tell if a suit is smooth backed?  Have you ever noticed that catalogues and online retailers never show rear photos of their swimwear?  Grrrrrr......
Update: I went in search of an old swimsuit that I couldn't remember if I still had.  I opened my spare clothes closet which I hadn't looked through recently (it's filled with mostly suits and such that I can't wear now) only to find the walls and clothes covered in black mold.  Now everything has to be pulled out and washed and the walls will need to be scrubbed with bleach.  Not feeling up to dealing with such a smell today I returned to the kitchen where Mr. M was proceeding to catch fire to a potholder.  Now the smell of burning synthetic fabric is all through the house, my clothes closet is dumped into the middle of the floor and I still do not have a swimsuit to wear to therapy tomorrow. *sigh*  I guess I should have titled this entry The Gimp, The Swimsuit, The Moldy Closet & The Kitchen Fire.
When was the last time you had a day like this?

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Posted by: AXkneepainrelief | July 01, 2011 at 03:54 AM

Katja

Well, a search for "seamless swimwear" takes one to all sorts of interesting places!

Someone's got a patent on the idea: http://www.freepatentsonline.com/6223351.html

Posted by: Katja | January 23, 2006 at 10:19 PM

Gimpy Mumpy

Aw! Thanks all for your suggestions. I'm tempted to take Marmiteboy's advice & go in the nude but since the pool is in a hospital I wouldn't want to startle any recovering patients :P
I also love Jacqui's idea of a custom Gimpy Mumpy swimsuit. Hmmmm....
My first visit was scheduled for today but we had a sudden blizzard (6 inches or so of snow) and had to reschedule for Friday. A few more days to find the perfect suit!

Posted by: Gimpy Mumpy | January 23, 2006 at 06:41 PM

Julie

That's weird?! My first one didn't reach you...so the second makes no sense! Anyways...9 pages of swimsuits at this site including 'blouson' style ones which might avoid touching your hurty bits (and flexible two-pieces that look like one piece).
I also said be careful with the black mould. It can be dangerous stuff. Wear a gauze painting mask until you have eradicated it. I found this out when my brother developed some nasty symptoms when this mould showed up when they had a loft conversion done. Quick search will show you some of the problems it can cause.
Now...will this send?!

Posted by: Julie | January 23, 2006 at 04:36 PM

Julie

Sorry..you'll need to start at home page:-
http://fiftyplusuk.drct2u.com and enter 'swim' in the search box. The links were bad. Also, I should have mentioned, UK sizes are different from US ones. Check with the 'size guide' on the site.

Posted by: Julie | January 23, 2006 at 04:32 PM

Jacqui

Couldn't you design your own swim suit (one that's easy to get into in a dignified way) and have one of yr own logos on it and sell them on this site?

Anyone know where you get swimsuits custom made?

Mr Rightpaw does have a talent for kitchen disasters, and I have a mouldy corners in my bedroom, and extension. have yet to have a day quite like that one, but these bixarre 'I cannot beleive it' happenings do seem to happen in threes. Odd, that.

Posted by: Jacqui | January 23, 2006 at 04:20 PM

marmiteboy

ould going sans swimming costume cause to mush of a stir in the pool then? It would solve the seam problem ;-)

Hope the hydro goes well. I loved it when I went and it really loosened me up as well.. The pool was so lovely and warm. It was like swimming in the bath.

Posted by: marmiteboy | January 23, 2006 at 03:49 PM

The Angry Gimp

How about a string bikini, then you can adjust how tight the fabric is? Or maybe exercise wear? I've worn tank tops and shorts before...not one piece, but maybe they have something in that section of Target or wherever.

Good luck finding a suit and getting therapy!

Eww, moldy closet and kitchen fire. :-(

Posted by: The Angry Gimp | January 23, 2006 at 02:02 PM

The Goldfish

There are a few really good lingerie & swimwear shops on-line - so you can order the stuff, do the trying on and send back anything unsuitable.

Figleaves http://www.figleaves.com/ for example has a facility to see both the front and back of at least some of their swinsuits (the ones I looked at - didn't check them all). Figleaves is of course a UK site, but they'll do international delivery.

Best of luck with your therapy, anyway.

Posted by: The Goldfish | January 23, 2006 at 08:10 AM

Gimpy Mumpy

Oh, and don't even get me started on trying on these things in the dressing rooms offered. It's a bit like trying to put on a balloon with your arms tied behind your back whilst standing on ice with one foot in a teeny tiny wooden box.
I hope the folks watching the security camera have a good laugh. Next time I'm bring a sign for them. Hmmmm....what should it say?

Posted by: Gimpy Mumpy | January 22, 2006 at 05:07 PM

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