Gimpy Mumpy

Best Headline of the Week

"Bush Anxious to Learn More of Deep Throat" 
O.k., it's not disability related but this headline from the June 1st edition of the Washington Post is just brilliant.

We're Not Gonna Take It

Oh we're not gonna take it,
No, we ain't gonna take it,
We're not gonna take it anymore.
-Twisted Sister "We're Not Gonna Take It"         
Performed by Twisted Mumpy

Karl:  I don't want to eat you.  I just get so hungry.  I'm just too big.
Young Edward Bloom:  Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you're not too big?  Maybe this place is just too small?

    -Big Fish

"The deadliest bullshit is odorless and transparent."
           -William Gibson

"It's better to help people
than garden gnomes."
           -Amelie

Not Dead Yet!

Dead Collector: Bring out yer dead.
Man with Body: Here's one.
Dead Collector: That'll be ninepence.
Old Man: I'm not dead.
Dead Collector: What?
Man with Body: Nothing. There's your ninepence.
Old Man: I'm not dead.
Dead Collector: 'Ere, he says he's not dead.
Man with Body: Yes he is.
Old Man: I'm not.
Dead collector: He isn't.
Man with Body: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
Old Man: I'm getting better.
Man with Body: No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.
Dead Collector: Well, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
Old Man: I don't want to go on the cart.
Man with Body: Oh, don't be such a baby.
Dead Collector: I can't take him.
Old Man: I feel fine.
Man with Body: Oh, do me a favor.
Dead Collector: I can't.
Man with Body: Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
Dead Collector: I promised I'd be at the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.
Man with Body: Well, when's your next round?
Dead Collector: Thursday.
Old Man: I think I'll go for a walk.
Man with Body: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Isn't there anything you could do?
Old Man: I feel happy. I feel happy.
[Dead Collector looks up and down the street then hits the old man over the head with his club]                                                                                                                           

Man with Body: Ah, thank you very much.
Dead Collector: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
Man with Body: Right.
                                     -Monty Python, Monty Python and the Holy Grail

This Monty Python skit is analogous to my relationship with the healthcare industry.  Today I'm feeling like the old man/body whom no one listens to.

How do infants avoid secondhand smoke? "At some point they begin to crawl." -- Tobacco Executive 1996 (as posted at Seek Truth.com)

"The slower you go, the more you see"

                                                      --unknown